Days are just flying right by me, it becomes hard to keep up! To make things better, lately I have felt sort of...tossed around. Trying to find my place and being my best at it hasn’t been easy. Of course, I know who I am. I know what my family needs from me and I believe I do my best at that. But, you know what I mean.
What can I do that is extraordinary? I am giving everything pieces of me and I really need to fully delve into something specific. I love everything I am a part of and I wish God would just nudge me a little towards a certain direction. But, that would be too easy. Choices are something I struggle with. I am an analyzer and honestly...sometimes I over-analyze. My mind gets filled with what-ifs and I want to accommodate the needs of all involved while trying to prevent any problems that could arise from my choices. Okay, I know: That is impossible. What’s worse is that afterwards I usually end up thinking, “I should have...”. I can be hard on myself.
Thank You, God, for my husband!! He reassures me and encourages me. He reminds me to paint a truer and prettier picture because the way I depict it is usually the worst it could possibly be and untrue. I am promising myself, with my readers as my witnesses, that I am going to pray hard and find something to really put my energy into. I am going to try my hardest and if it fails, at least I stopped dipping my toe in and jumped in! There are many more streams, rivers, lakes, and oceans to try out!
I look forward to sharing what I try. I would love to conquer it and move on! This mommy to one 5 year old, one 3 year old, a 2 month old, who stays at home, chooses to homeschool those wonderful children, and has been “labeled” as a sufferer of anxiety, asthma, endometriosis and having GI issues has one mighty God! I will be still and listen. I will say “Yes!” and be obedient for He sees the bigger and prettier picture! I will not shy away but instead courageous and bold.
I will stop just giving pieces of me everywhere. This passion of helping, using my hands, my voice, my mind and all I have ever learned...this passion to ALWAYS continue learning new things has to be funneled and become something greater and with more purpose than my current “sprinkles of Mimi.” Now, excuse me while I go talk to Jesus. I hope to write again in a more fulfilled and lighter spirit very soon!
